November round-up: Burnout, sound baths+the brutality of Freegle swap shops
+more, cos it's a BLOG about the month
In my favourite wood (25/11/23)
Allow me to re-introduce myself
I think I have used this title before for an email but I’m going to go with it because I like it and it sums up what I am doing here. So I am changing up, yet again, the style of this email letter. Well, it feels different to me but may not read much different, I really don’t know (thoughts much appreciated), but I am going to call it…dun dun dun…a blog 😱😱😱
I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to write things that would support others, and that is a large part of what I am trying to do here, but that pressure ultimately stifles my inspiration, creativity and joy. I get lost between what I want to share and what I think that I should share. And even though I love reading others blogs and memoirs and get a lot of value from them, for myself to write a blog, it has always felt selfish. I mean, who cares or wants to hear about my life?
But I really do just want to share a lot more about my life, without fear of judgment, so here goes.
The love tree (25/11/23)
Beginning with a re-introduction:
I’m in my mid-30s (when did that happen?), live in Cumbria, and I’m adjusting to a new era in my life this year including becoming single, buying my first home, returning to full time work and now in my second new job of the year (I daren’t tell you how many jobs I have had over the last 4 years)
I love my own company, but at the same time really struggle to be still and do ‘nothing’ when I am alone
I live with my dog Bomber who is a really gentle and slightly anxious soul. He is toy-obsessed, loves sleeping on my bed but loves eating cat shit more. He is dog-aggressive but very manageable with it (unless a dog comes running over off-lead and unannounced; that is never fun). He is the best companion.
I feel most myself when I am outdoors; up in the Lake District fells or swimming in its lakes, and I am currently completing my Wainwrights (summit-ing 214 peaks in the Lake District) in a ‘mindful’ way-I wrote a post on it here.
I usually pack too much outdoorsy and social stuff into my weekend, leaving me chasing my tail by Sunday night, trying to get my life and house into some sort of fit state. Hence recent burnout (see below and podcast here)
I am kind-of obsessed with personal growth and living the most magical life that I possibly can
I am very spiritual; I believe in the Universe, energy, angels, spirit guides, manifestation and so on
I am largely recovered from a really unhealthy relationship with food and exercise (read: my body), through ditching diets completely and embracing intuitive eating (here's a real throwback podcast on this, but there are many more)
Bombers interpretation of ‘My Bed’ (18/11/23)
I can’t really talk about October and November without mentioning burnout
I burnt the candle at both ends as they say and have felt so so frazzled, and never slept this bad so consistently in as long as I can remember. I look like I have taken a punch to both eye sockets and my skin is the opposite of glowing (…not glowing?)…but now that I have stopped resisting it and started to actually focus on healing this, I have found a lot of acceptance, peace and a deep sense of love.
I have actively been working on this for a few weeks now, and that buzzy head feeling I have had for a while has pretty much gone. I have felt sooo hungry, drank lots of cacao and listened to every sound bath going. And, most importantly, reduced my socialising and hiking at the weekends. If you want to hear more on why I have got to here and how I am working on it, whilst sharing some ways in which we can use nature to help heal stress and burnout, then listen here, but going back to sound baths…
Ullswater, just before a v chilly swim with a pal (4/11/23)
This month I went to my first IRL sound bath, and it was amazing.
I have only ever listened to them online and I cannot tell you how healing they are for my body, but in real life it was even more intense. It’s like the sounds resonate deep within and vibrate out all the stress, returning me back to balance.
Sometimes I feel like I’m floating, gently moving in a cyclical pattern, but even during the less intense experiences my brain clears, even if just a little. It is apparently to do with brain waves, shifting from beta (which I experience as ‘anxious as fuck’) to theta (relaxed, between alert and asleep). I don’t know any more than that and I do plan on researching it all at some point, but I am currently obsessed with dreaming up in minute detail my future sound bath business. I get like this about a lot of things so don’t expect it to be something that I will follow through.
Oh yeah, what is a sound bath I hear you ask?
In my own words, someone plays these beautiful crystal bowls, sometimes with chimes and other instruments, as you lie down tucked up in blankets, listening to the person beside you snore. It is beautiful.
I went to a sound bath held by Amanda Drago at The Studio Morland (for any of you local people listening), and she hosts them once a month. For more details visit her website here.
Here is my fav Youtube Sound Bath channel:
My Freegle Swap Shop experience
Ok so that was intense. Very quick description- 2 hour event where you bring stuff for free and you take stuff for free. So I rocked up about 40 mins after it had started, thinking it would take a while to get people through the doors and get items in to swap, but I have never been more wrong.
As I brought my boxes in I realised it was absolutely heaving; people started taking stuff out of my boxes and out of my hands as I tried to make my way through the crowds to the correct tables. One woman was asking me if she could have the watch whilst another woman grabbed it right infront of us and scuttled off.
Once I finally managed to get everything out on the tables, I got chatting to some old friends and before I knew it the place was empty of both people and items.
It was like a plague of locusts had just swarmed through, decimating everything in its path except a few sorry looking things.
Brutal.
So I asked my seasoned friend when is the best time to go, and she said right upon opening but be prepared for chaos.
For the next one I am going to be queuing outside waiting for the doors to open, whilst summoning that cut-throat part of me that can force themselves through a crowd of people to the front of a gig, and can navigate the Tube during the London Marathon.
Some berries (14/11/23)
“It ain’t what they call you; it’s what you answer to”
W.C Fields
Ooof. As a recovering people pleaser, this hit hard. I have spent as long as I can remember seeking approval and validation from others, avoiding judgment and rejection at all costs, which has really had me confused about who I am.
What identity or opinion of myself do I answer to?
All I know is that a quote I read two days ago feels like the answer to this, or rather the path through:
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Quote taken from this post written by one of my fav writers Lisa Lister (love her book ‘Witch’):
Ooof Haweswater (18/11/23)
Some things that have happened this month
Got the lyrics to Black Mascara by RAYE so stuck in my head that I have had to ban myself from listening to it in order to sleep
Learning to enjoy ‘less full’ weekends
Daily sound baths (shock)
I started selling on Vinted and feel all empowered
My second Chakra Dance evening 💃💃💃
1 new Wainwright climbed on my journey of ‘mindful bagging’ (read post on this here)
What have your favourite things been this month?
The end
I would like to keep writing but feel that it is probably enough for now- I am aiming towards writing shorter snippets, with more photos, as I know for a distracted person like me I am much more engaged if a blog reads/looks/feels like that.
I would really really appreciate any feedback on this blog, so please do let me now below in a comment, or by simply answering this poll:
To everyone who has made it to the end of this blog, thankyou so so much for reading and supporting me. I really appreciate it :)
Love,
Becca xx
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Email me: rebeccaguy@live.co.uk